Several cases of acute Tryptophan poisoning occurred across Spokane yesterday. Many people do not know of Tryptophan, also called 'The Turkeys Curse', a drug present in modern day turkeys. When consumed in large quantity's, Tryptophan can cause a number of effects, including a desire to eat Mince Meat and Pumpkin Pies, a need to dress in sweats, and a sleepiness.
However, the most horrific effect takes place between 12 and 48 hours after a large dose is ingested. It has a chemical reaction with the Estrogen found in the Human Females blood and causes a frenzied desire to get material items.
Across Spokane and the country, American women flocked to retail outlets and threw themselves into shopping in an orgy of capitalistic fervor. Several fights broke out over particularly rare and valuable items, such as the legendary 'Care Bear' items.
Now, really. get a freaking grip people!
Fighting over stuffed toys?
WTF Mate?! What has Christmas come to mean? Is it so freaking important that you get the latest Cabbage Patch Kid that you incite violence? Are we a nation of spoiled children waiting for there toys imported from China, or are we adults?
This day, every year, makes me sick.
-Tsyko
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